Some words that shouldn’t be hidden on FB

Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
Contact Kraft at writerkraft@gmail.com or comment at the end of the blog


Facebook is part of my life, and although to survive I am attempting to move from FB to this blog, I am now moving between two online worlds. I have a lot of friends, and I get along with people well, for they—you—drive my life. Only Marissa knows the hell of loneliness that is my life, for I don’t share this.

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Pardon the vanity … but I use images taken of me to create art that I sell. Money moves my world, but only because I enjoy eating. (Art © Louis Kraft 2013)

Not often, but perhaps today i need to open up for my sanity.

I hope someone sees the following FB posting, but she won’t for she isn’t on FB. By posting it on the website I am making it available to her. If she sees it, and if it offends her, I hope that when next she sees me, she belts me, for I deserve it.

The words are totally out of line. … I’m a gutsy fellow, but when it comes to what I want—really want—I’m not very good at doing what I need to do. … Not good at doing what I need to do for me. I can pitch a story idea and if it isn’t wanted I can walk away without a whimper, without feeling rejection. However, I don’t do well in life and often walk away without the other person ever knowing that I’m interested in her. I can’t tell you how often someone has said to me, “If you had just let me know … ” years later. This is not a lesson I have learned, not lesson I have moved beyond. What was true when I was young is true today. I just posted something on FB … and it is part of who I am. This blog lives because I need to discover who I am. What follows is from a FB posting, and hopefully if the lady in question sees it she isn’t offended:

“I haven’t heard a good song in a long time. Weeks back I heard Rihanna and some of her friends perform “Stay,” and whoa, this is a song that hits me dead center. A lot of changes are going on in my life, and this lady’s music has caught me in a place I haven’t been in a long time. “Stay,” … and let me tell you it’s about time someone I want stays in my life. I’m not dead. Hell, I’m not close to being dead. I can’t guess how many people I’m going to piss off in the next 40 years. Need a lady to join this walk into the future. Need a lady to hold me tight. There’s only one person who fits the above words. Need to step outside of my safe zone and risk upsetting a small friend, I need to risk ending a friendship to create something I want. Hard decision, but it is time to go after what I want.”

Dear lady, if you see this and are offended, please hit me with your best swing.

300 days of sunshine, OIW talk, & a Louis Kraft ramble

Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
Contact Kraft at writerkraft@gmail.com or comment at the end of the blog


Dear friends,

In December 2011 I spoke about Ned Wynkoop at the Tattered Cover bookstore in LoDo (downtown Denver). I love LoDo, but you won’t believe that when you read what follows. There are two Hyatt hotels in LoDo, and if I were rich I would make either one of them my permanent residence. That sounds positive, doesn’t it. Hell, go back a few years and I almost accepted a writing position in Boulder. That also sounds positive.

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Layton Hooper is cleaning the snow from my rental car (a Chevy Cruz) in his front yard. Layton and his pretty wife, Vicki, were perfect hosts, and I had a great time being snowbound with them in Fort Collins. Layton is doing the work as he was fearful that I’d fall on my ass and be hospital bound on April 20 during the OIW symposium. ‘Course I didn’t ease his fears when I slipped all over the place in my cold-weather moccasins. (Photo © Louis Kraft 2013)

You realize that I had bought into Colorado’s sales pitch of 300 days of sunshine. Hell, I live in SoCal. We have sunshine! I don’t know what the hell Colorado is selling, but it ain’t what this ol’ boy enjoys in Los Angeles.

Back to the story. That sunny 2011 December morn I arrived in Denver. All looked good, but I had heard rumors that cut into the sunshine publicity. The next morning, the day of the Ned Wynkoop talk, the first thing I did was yank open the curtains and look south into LoDo. Everything was white and there was enough glare/backlight that I could see the snow falling. It proved to be a good trip: I saw Jerry Greene, an Indian wars writer/historian/pal (I don’t mean to name drop, but I want to pitch my friends), the talk went well at the Tattered Cover, Barnes & Noble also stocked Ned Wynkoop and the Lonely Road from Sand Creek (2011), … Best yet it took an hour and a half for the ice defroster to clean the plane before it could take off that Sunday evening and return me safely to SoCal and sunshine.

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Marissa at Tujunga House on Christmas day. (Photo © Marissa & Louis Kraft 2012)

I spent a wonderful Christmas with Marissa, my daughter, last December. Actually, all my days with her are to die for—I’m lucky.

This month I returned to Colorado to again speak about Wynkoop. The fellow who hired me, Layton Hooper, and I had become long-distance friends. When the Order of Indian Wars symposium wasn’t putting me up at a hotel in Centennial, where the event took place at a great National Guard post, he opened his house to me. Layton and his pretty wife, Vicki, made me feel at home. (A lot will follow on Layton and Vicki, but not in this post). This post, if you haven’t realized it by now, deals with Colorado’s 300 days of sunshine.

Again I had landed in sunny Colorado (April 14, 2013), and again on the following morning disaster struck. Only now, I wasn’t snug and secure in a Hyatt in LoDo, nor was I in Centennial within walking distance of the National Guard post. Hell no, for I was staying w/Layton and Vicki in their gorgeous home in Fort Collins (some 80 miles from where I was going to do Sand Creek research in Denver and even farther from Centennial). I shot a roll of film (yep, I have an antique camera) dealing with the “winter wonderland” that the U.S. calls Colorado. Do you realize that I have actually considered moving to Denver? There are two people in my life and one object: Marissa, my girlfriend (when I have one, but this is an open slot for a VIP in my life), and my car.

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The Vette at first light at Tujunga House. As you’ll see, it talks to me and plays a big role in what I do and don’t do. (Photo © Louis Kraft 2011)

After returning home in December 2011, I told my car about the horror of what I had lived through: That I had slipped and almost fell, and had whacked my big toe so badly on the curb that I almost crashed to the frozen ground (but luckily didn’t do a back flop) while walking up the hill to the hotel after the Tattered Cover talk, and it (that is the Corvette) made it clear to me that it had no intention of living in the land of 300 days of sunshine. It told me that if I moved to Colorado, that at the first opportunity when we were cruising on a mountain road, that it would lock the brakes, and then when I accelerated it would hold the pedal down until the speed reached 240 mph. It implied that it would smile as we flew into the wild blue yonder in the land of 300 days of sunshine.

Look at the bright side, the Vette hasn’t complained about hurricanes yet. ‘Course I haven’t mentioned living in the Southeast yet. Am sure that it will then remind me what happened to Dorothy (and that was in Kansas and just a mild tornado).

I need to return to Colorado and its 300 days of sunshine one more time for I need to share my favorite image from the April 2012 trip to the land I really thought I eventually would call home. On the plus side, Colorado has great historians, great restaurants, great theater, gorgeous women (I could mention one I try to visit every time I’m in Denver and can walk more than 10 yards without falling on my rear end in the white stuff that I thought only came when Santa Claus paid a visit), … a very pretty lady (alas, with a boyfriend) who works at the Evans/Byers house. If she sees this post, I’m certain she’ll bash me when next I say hello. … But as they say, “All’s fair in love and war.”—

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This view is from the glass door at the rear of Layton and Vicki’s home in Fort Collins; that is from their kitchen/dining area/family room that we spent many (and I mean “many”) happy hours in during my visit. I took many photos from the exact same location during my visit. They got progressively worse and worse. On the right of this image you should see two houses. Looking back (west) you should see the western and lower region of what is the Rocky Mountains. Like I’ve been talking about—300 days of sunshine. ‘Course all my pals disagree with what I’ve seen with my own eyes. And of course they’re Cheyenne Indian wars historians, so what can one expect? Layton, on the other side, is an Apache wars historian, … he should be able to recognize the truth when it has him surrounded. I’m certain if Geronimo saw this white stuff that is useless (it isn’t even any good for throwing snowballs), he’d be heading south for old Mexico as fast as he could run. … Mr. Mike Koury, another thought for you; it’s time you joined the program. (Photo © Louis Kraft 2013)

 

Welcome to Louis Kraft’s writing world

Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
Contact Kraft at writerkraft@gmail.com or comment at the end of the blog


Chases, crashes, guns, knives, screams, even a surprise package with “SHAME” written in bold red letters on it. Excitement of an unsavory kind that should remain tucked firmly in the closet. “Say, it ain’t so, Joe!”* Is the above real? Did it happen? Are these stories that can be told? If the answer to these questions is “yes,” there’s a little more to my life than the nice fellow you think you know.
(*This quote by a little boy to premier baseball player Joe Jackson in September 1920 when Jackson was indicted for his participation in the 1919 Black Sox World Series scandal is oft repeated but inaccurate.)

How’s that for a teaser?

My bro Glen Williams took this image of LK relaxing at Mission San Fernando Rey de España, San Fernando, Ca., in late spring 2012. (photo © Louis Kraft & Glen Williams 2012)

When I’m lucky enough to have a lady in my life, she is the only one I have eyes for, … but alas, she has to share me with the writing world and with my love for my daughter. In the past this hasn’t been a winning combination. If loving and being with someone for all time is the most important thing in life (other than respecting and accepting mankind), and it is in mine, it must also include acceptance of both lives. I walk my own road and refuse to be caged. (By the way, my daughter isn’t included in this view, for we are linked for all time.)

Obviously there are ups and downs.

Before even beginning to write the next comments I’m chuckling. … I’m not going to tell you how to be successful (I’m the last person on earth to give advice here). Nor am I going to tell you how to write, how to research, or anything else the so-called experts pitch over and over again.

Glen Williams took the photo of Louis Kraft coming in from the light; it was also shot at Mission San Fernando Rey de España. (photo © Glen Williams and Louis Kraft 2012)

Glen Williams also took this photo of Louis Kraft at Mission San Fernando Rey de España in late spring 2012. (photo © Glen Williams and Louis Kraft 2012)

My world is a swirling mix of survival, creativity, physicality, and romanticism, and I have no intention of ignoring it. Sometimes you’ll cringe at my vagueness (for example, I might mention a small friend), but realize that when I’m vague it is out of necessity. Although I have every intention of opening my writing world to you, the goal is to entice, excite, entertain, and if I get lucky gain insight into my research. Beyond that, I’m looking for a chuckle, a tear, an interest in people long gone or still living.

Certainly I’ll talk about writing projects—past and present. I’ll update you with writing status and upcoming events. I’ll also talk about people and happenings that are special, at least to me. Additionally, I hope to invite you into my world, a world that at times seems to be yanked every-which-a-way.

Those of you who have “befriended” me elsewhere know that often I mix and match subject matter. For example, an Errol Flynn discovery, a comment about the mixed-blood Cheyenne Edmund Guerrier, a Navajo Blood teaser, and perhaps a pretty woman saying, “Kraft, you could [… you fill in the blanks].” With the introduction of a blog, there’ll also be invitations to join me as we explore an aspect of Dog Man chief Tall Bull or that special actress named Olivia de Havilland. What am I looking for here? Everything from congratulations to information to sympathy (but not necessarily in that order). Better yet, the fore-mentioned chuckle. Anything you feel like shooting my way. Every day is new, every day is different, every day has a learning curve. The best way to face it is with a smile and with the intention to enjoy each and every minute of the here and now.

Dear people, join me as I open up with hopefully a lively stream of consciousness about my world, a world of my own creation, a world that at times has followed a lonely trail, and finally a world that I have every intention of seeing published in book form. Oh yes, be very careful with what you say for I’m good at documenting information.