Do you know me? I don’t think so

Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
Contact Kraft at writerkraft@gmail.com or comment at the end of the blog


Ladies & Gents …

Do you know me? You may think you do, but I don’t think so.

I would love to add photos to this blog, but can’t because some people, if they saw it, wouldn’t be pleased (the photos would be gorgeous, but, … always that damned “but”). My apologies. Actually I have one I like of good friend Glen Williams. It follows.

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This is my bro Glen Williams on a great road trip to Arizona in 2012. Good times. Glen is one of my closest friends. He and his pretty wife, Ellen, live in Texas now, and I miss the closeness we had when he lived in SoCal. Will hang out with him and Ellen later this year—good times to come. (Photo © Glen Williams & Louis Kraft 2012)

We’re a lot of things that grow and mature over time. We have good and we have bad, and that is what makes us interesting. Every person I write about, every one—Errol Flynn, Ned Wynkoop, Geronimo, Olivia de Havilland—every one has good and bad in their lives, and that is what makes them interesting, what makes them worth writing about.

If you visited me and opened the wrong closet door you would be buried under several hundred pounds of bones. Does this make me a bad person? No. Does this make me an interesting person? Maybe.

By now you’ve seen that I have every intention of mixing my writing life with what is important to me. Let’s be up front here—women drive my life; mainly two—Marissa and my girlfriend … at the moment I don’t have a girlfriend, which gives you a hint where this blog is headed. Bear with me, I’m just a fellow who rambles.

For decades I have lived in two writing worlds. One allowed me to do damn near anything I pleased without batting an eye, while the other allowed me to write about what was important to me. Two lives, but one is about to end. Those of you who know me and know of both worlds know what will soon happen (probably by summer). Adios amigo—rest in peace. If you want to make a bet, place your money on Flynn, Wynkoop, and the reality/fantasy that I have lived since being a boy.

But there’s something else that drives me, has always driven me, and has always been in my life up until the shocking year of 2011. There is a hole in my life, a hole so large that perhaps it will never be plugged.

Rihanna’s “Stay” summarizes my life. I could say some words here that mean a lot to me, drive me, but might shock you. I’m toying with saying them, but I won’t. I’m good at description, and I’m also really good with dialogue (so be careful with what you say to me). I could perhaps turn you on, or shock you. Is this what I want to do? No.

A quick return to my writing world, … there’s a memoir coming, and trust me, for I will turn you on and I will shock you. Life goes in many different ways and the “good, the bad, and sensuous” are all part of it. “Ugly”? No, there’s no “ugly.” Sorry Clint.

We’re again talking about two worlds, but not the two worlds I just mentioned. For now we’re talking about the professional world (technical or freelance) and the personal world. I’m cocky as hell in the professional world (again, technical or freelance), but a lamb in a darkened woods with wolves moving in for the kill in the personal world. There are things in the personal world that I can never share with you, but know that I talk to Jesus about them every day—they are that important to me. I need to live to 120+ to protect the most dear thing in my life. But there’s another part to my personal life, and this needs to be plugged yet again to make me complete. I just sent an email to my bro Glen Williams about what looms before me. It isn’t for  here … perhaps when you know me better. Perhaps never. I’m free with my thoughts, with my desires, … but normally only for close friends, for they know what drives me. I thought about opening up more here after emailing Glen, but changed my mind. I’m a normal guy, which means I’d shock the hell out of you.

Sorry, but we’ll need to save the juicy stuff for the future.

Some words that shouldn’t be hidden on FB

Website & blogs © Louis Kraft 2013-2020
Contact Kraft at writerkraft@gmail.com or comment at the end of the blog


Facebook is part of my life, and although to survive I am attempting to move from FB to this blog, I am now moving between two online worlds. I have a lot of friends, and I get along with people well, for they—you—drive my life. Only Marissa knows the hell of loneliness that is my life, for I don’t share this.

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Pardon the vanity … but I use images taken of me to create art that I sell. Money moves my world, but only because I enjoy eating. (Art © Louis Kraft 2013)

Not often, but perhaps today i need to open up for my sanity.

I hope someone sees the following FB posting, but she won’t for she isn’t on FB. By posting it on the website I am making it available to her. If she sees it, and if it offends her, I hope that when next she sees me, she belts me, for I deserve it.

The words are totally out of line. … I’m a gutsy fellow, but when it comes to what I want—really want—I’m not very good at doing what I need to do. … Not good at doing what I need to do for me. I can pitch a story idea and if it isn’t wanted I can walk away without a whimper, without feeling rejection. However, I don’t do well in life and often walk away without the other person ever knowing that I’m interested in her. I can’t tell you how often someone has said to me, “If you had just let me know … ” years later. This is not a lesson I have learned, not lesson I have moved beyond. What was true when I was young is true today. I just posted something on FB … and it is part of who I am. This blog lives because I need to discover who I am. What follows is from a FB posting, and hopefully if the lady in question sees it she isn’t offended:

“I haven’t heard a good song in a long time. Weeks back I heard Rihanna and some of her friends perform “Stay,” and whoa, this is a song that hits me dead center. A lot of changes are going on in my life, and this lady’s music has caught me in a place I haven’t been in a long time. “Stay,” … and let me tell you it’s about time someone I want stays in my life. I’m not dead. Hell, I’m not close to being dead. I can’t guess how many people I’m going to piss off in the next 40 years. Need a lady to join this walk into the future. Need a lady to hold me tight. There’s only one person who fits the above words. Need to step outside of my safe zone and risk upsetting a small friend, I need to risk ending a friendship to create something I want. Hard decision, but it is time to go after what I want.”

Dear lady, if you see this and are offended, please hit me with your best swing.